Oh I feel for you.
I'm a preschool teacher myself* and while I do believe that teachers, daycare directors and school administrators have an obligation to maintain confidentiality and professional conduct online (ie they shouldn't blog about their clients), I don't believe that should apply to parents. And if a daycare/preschool/school DID have a policy that extended to parents' social media activities (like, for instance, asking parents not to post class/group pictures on Facebook), that should be made EXPRESSLY clear when the child is first enrolled, in the form of a parent handbook or something.
But apart from the ethical issues of kicking your child out of preschool because of your blog (it sounds like the director had her feelings hurt and decided she just didn't like your family anymore, which isn't very professional), what about the insanity of labelling a child "bad" at the age of 4 (I'm guessing) because of normal childhood behaviour?? Heck, even if she was the hardest kid to manage in the whole class (which I highly doubt), any qualified teacher should understand the importance of dealing with the behaviour not applying labels. Those labels stick, and they hurt, especially considering they already had your daughter believing she was "bad." That makes me so angry that I'm glad I never had to work at that preschool!
And I agree with you that the whole idea of rewarding kids with better parts in an end-of-year production if the teachers find their behaviour easier to manage MONTHS BEFORE THE EVENT is crazy talk, at least for preschoolers. Sure, ninth graders can understand the concept of "if you get too many detentions, you don't go on the field trip" but that is WAY above the developmental level of a 4-year-old. It just sets them up to conclude that the teacher doesn't like them, or that they're inherently "bad" so nothing they do will make any difference. It's bullshit, is what it is. Consequences for negative behaviour should be a lot more immediate (as in, same day, not months down the line) and a big school event like that shouldn't be taken away so easily, just because a kid went up the wrong stairs or played with a plunger.
The one good thing that came out of it is that your child sounds like she's in a MUCH better school now!
*[Well, by that I mean that I'm an ECE and worked in various private daycares in Canada over the course of a decade, usually with 3-4 year olds, until I decided to stay home for a while when my own daughter was born...I clarify only because I know "preschool" can mean a lot of different things.]
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